Mat Danish is that friend who knows the best taco truck, has three half-finished hobbies, runs a coffee brand before noon, and will absolutely start a band if you make eye contact. This site documents his achievements, near-misses, and pending apologies.
- Suggests a road trip during a meeting
- Carries a pen for autographs nobody asked for
- Texts back immediately, but with memes
Invented “Tuesday Energy.” Once parallel parked on the first try. Owns a thriving collection of indoor plants named after jazz legends.
Believes croissants are a food group. Sets 7 alarms but trusts none. Still chasing the perfect iced coffee ratio.
Works at a popular CCaaS company teaching robots to say “howdy.” Claims it’s “for the plot.”
Mat is online-ish. Ask for coffee notes, chaotic life updates, or questionable CCaaS advice in real time.
Mat Danish is a walking brainstorming session. He collects hobbies like tabs in a browser—many open, few closed. Coffee entrepreneur at Duo Roast. Colorado-based, altitude-trained for maximum shenanigans.
Likelihood Mat will suggest a “quick detour” that lasts 2 hours. Bring snacks.
Average rating from friends after he shows up with sparkling water and unsolicited playlists.
Number of times he says “trust me” before unveiling a new plan. Proceed accordingly.
Thoughts per minute when someone mentions “we could start a podcast.”
Altitude at which he claims coffee tastes “spicier.” Colorado science, don’t question it.
We fact-checked these stories with Mat. He agreed to most of them, then asked if we could “punch up the drama.”
Successfully rescued a friend’s birthday cake from a raccoon. The cake survived. The raccoon still follows Mat on Instagram.
Invented a spreadsheet to rank taco trucks by salsa bravery. Investors have not yet called.
Once returned a shopping cart to the corral 20 feet away. Believes this absolves him of all parking sins.
Owns socks that do not match on purpose. Calls it “avant-garde ankle storytelling.”
Launched Duo Roast Coffee because sleep is for people without a brand.
Because if you don’t post it, did Mat even do it? These totally real images capture his daily chaos.
“These beans pair well with altitude and unsolicited advice.” — Mat
Practicing latte art that looks suspiciously like a flowchart.
Colorado HQ: where Mat blames altitude for everything.
Mission control: coffee, cables, and 47 open tabs labeled “idea.”
Mat excels at things you can’t put on LinkedIn (we tried). Below is the unofficial list.
We asked the people who know Mat best: the group chat, his barista, and an Uber driver from 2018.
“Mat promised me a 6-part docuseries on my cat. I’m still waiting, but the pitch deck was fire.”
- Jules, friend since the great brisket incident
“He tips 22% and ranks my latte art. Harsh but fair.”
- Kendra, local barista
“We drove in silence for 2 minutes. Then he asked my top three sandwiches. Five stars.”
- Driver #X3F9, ride-share philosopher
A concise history of Mat’s pursuits, both real and aspirational.
Clarifying the mysteries surrounding Mat Danish so you can decide if you want to hang out anyway.
He is Mat. He is Danish-adjacent. Please do not show this to any embassies.
Right now? Ranking sparkling waters by “conversation potential.” The list is controversial.
Yes, but the payment is usually tacos, iced coffee, or access to your Wi‑Fi.
He will reply instantly, but with a meme that needs context. You have been warned.
Send Mat a note. He might show up with snacks and a powerpoint. No refunds.
- Keynote on “Embracing Tuesday Energy”
- Live playlist curation
- Emergency hype session
- Plant encouragement
Click to get Mat’s latest opinions. He denies them immediately after.
Pineapple on pizza is fine if the pizza consents.